Time for Reflection
by Obi the Kid
Summary: Pre-TPM, non slash. (Obi-Wan is 17). After a trying mission, Qui-Gon reflects on the years he has spent with his padawan.


TITLE: Time for Reflection   
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)   
RATING: G   
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM, non-slash. (Obi-Wan is 17) Qui-Gon POV as he reflects during a flight from one mission to another.   
ARCHIVE: Please ask me first.   
FEEDBACK: Always appreciated.   
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/   
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.   
  
===================   
Time for Reflection   
===================   
  
Everything is quiet now. The hostile and annoyingly loud world of Gornun is behind us. I have never been so relieved for a mission to end, nor have I ever been so grateful to get away from a planet. For the last two weeks my apprentice and I have been in the middle of an angry dispute between three political parties. We left when all efforts had been exhausted and we felt that our presence was no longer welcomed. The Council will take things from here. Obi-Wan and I are heading to Relefar, for what should be a more peaceful mission. For now, we have a day-long journey ahead of us and it involves as much rest as possible.   
  
I found Obi-Wan flaked out on the couch. He hadn't even enough energy to make it to his small bedroom at the rear of the ship. He's lying on his stomach, one arm hanging off the side, the other tucked under his chest. His breathing is quiet and he is, for now, at peace. I suppose I should take pity on the poor boy and find him a blanket.   
  
It's amazing, on such a tiny ship, how easy it is for one to lose things. I know there was a blanket here when we left Coruscant. It seems to have vanished. My robe will have to do. I gently lie it over my slumbering apprentice, and watch as he stirs for a moment. Then he quiets once more. I don't recall ever seeing him this overwhelmed by fatigue. This particular mission was one of our most trying, mostly on a emotional and mental level, but that does indeed take a great deal out of one's physical state as well. I am proud of the way he handled himself during these past weeks. He held up better than I ever expected. I have to remember, he is still a boy. Just turning seventeen. There is so much potential there, but he's so young. Sometimes I forget how much growing he has yet to do. There is a strength about him that is much like that of my own.   
  
But that strength has given out. He's sinking into a hard, deep sleep. Just what he needs actually. What we both need. I have chosen to forego sleep, and achieve my rest through meditation. For me, it's sometimes more relaxing. And with no apprentice to keep occupied, it's the perfect time.   
  
Planting myself next to the couch, I find my meditative state easily and for the next couple hours, I am content and relaxed. When I finally open my eyes, I find that Obi-Wan has shifted his position on the couch. He's now lying on his back, his face turned into a cushion, and buried there. One arm still hangs off the side, the other across his mid-section. He snores softly. The growing padawan braid, hidden behind his neck. This is the same boy who's goal in life is to run me ragged? The same student who, when he's in the mood, is able to throw out a flood questions and inquiries that can actually drive Master Yoda to the edge? Now look at him. So innocent. So peaceful. He's like a different person.   
  
Peaceful? There's a word that I would never normally apply to Obi-Wan.   
  
It's been about five years now that he's spent with me. We certainly had a shaky beginning, and I think there was a time when we both questioned our decision to be master and apprentice. Now that I have time to reflect, I know that I made the right choice. After the failure that was Xanatos, I would have never expected someone like Obi-Wan to come along. So willing to learn, and so devoted to his training and to me.   
  
Of course he has his flaws. And I am quick to correct him and at least attempt to get him to maintain knowledge of what I teach. Focus on the here and now. Be mindful of the living Force. But there are times when he is so anxious to see what's around the next corner. He'll work against the Force rather than allowing it to flow within him. He's shown flashes of anger in his training. Nothing like what Xanatos demonstrated, but enough for him to take that anger and turn it into aggression during sparring sessions. I've been keying on that lately. It's not that he is touching the dark side, but he is unable to completely control his emotions when he is riled. We've been focusing on those emotions, the negative ones, and I believe that with training and time, he will move beyond these difficulties. It takes longer for some students to mature in certain areas. Obi-Wan is no different. Even when he becomes a Knight, he will still have much to learn. The Force is constant, but is changing at the same time. One can never cease to learn from it.   
  
I wonder what kind of Knight my padawan will make. I foresee that his future will be vitally important to the Jedi. But to what extent, I cannot tell. Master Yoda tells me that the future is clouded for Obi-Wan. I trust the wisdom of my old master, but can't help but worry at those words. This is my student he speaks of, the one who has become such an important part of my life. Nevertheless, whatever lies ahead, he will no doubt be my proud legacy.   
  
~*~   
  
I can feel the regulated temperature of the ship drop slightly, and Obi-Wan responds by pulling my robe up around his shoulders, a small shiver running through him. Maybe it's habit, or a parental feeling inside me, but I quickly move to his side, and tuck the edges of the large robe in further, warding off any subsequent chills. He's mumbling something incoherent right now. It sounds like a 'thank you' but who can tell. I've seen this level of relaxation in him before, and know that he is quite content. The nightmares that plagued him when he was younger, have long since gone, and now only the occasional bad dream haunts his rest. And those tend only to surface after the more harrowing missions.   
  
I sit at his side now. Quietly. I watch him sleep. The rise and fall of the chest. The soft fluttering of the eyelids. His braid has grown quite a bit in the last year. Just last month, I added a third band to it. I run the thin strand through my fingers, and feel the bond that we share come to life. He knows I am here. One thing he hates is for me to play with his braid. He's always been like that. So, what do I do? I annoy him the easiest way possible. He reaches a blind hand up and slaps mine away. I smile, and catch the braid between my fingers once again.   
  
Obi-Wan rolls over a bit, and tries to open his eyes. They are more squinted than anything. He's looking at me...well, at least he's attempting to. And he's protesting.   
  
"Stop...master. Lemme sleep."   
  
Again he moves my hand away from the braid.   
  
"Why do you do that? Need sleep Master. Tired."   
  
I'm laughing now. The pathetic look on his face coupled with the small voice make him look like a young initiate again.   
  
"Don't laugh. I don't wake you up. Go 'way."   
  
He's coming around a bit, but still looks like he was run over by a Bantha. Why I am torturing him like this, I have no idea. After such a trying mission where we had to maintain such a level of seriousness for so long, I guess I needed the laugh. My poor padawan is a convenient target. The only target.   
  
"Masterrrr. Stop. Leave my braid alone. Is this your way of getting back at me for whatever you feel the need to get back at me for?"   
  
His response only humors me more. "Yes."   
  
"Can't you wait until we get a vacation to do this?"   
  
"No. You know the Council will never give us enough time for a vacation."   
  
A loud and exasperated sigh escapes his lips, and I figure I've had enough fun for now. But not before I ruffle his hair, and watch him pull away. Another thing he hates.   
  
"Master!"   
  
"Okay, okay. You get grumpy when you're tired. Go back to sleep. I have to check our ETA anyway."   
  
Without another whine, he pulls the robe over his head, and is asleep in seconds. How he does that is beyond me. Must be a youth thing. I should leave him be for a while. He does need the sleep. Who knows what our next mission holds. This will be our ninth in a row, without a break. I do believe the Council is trying to kill us. Or at the very least, kill me. They and I have not been seeing things eye to eye for many years now, but lately, it's been worse. I have to follow where the living Force takes me. It's true, they despise me. But I didn't think they'd take it out on Obi-Wan as well. I suppose I was wrong. He'll probably hate me for that later in life. I know he doesn't understand why I do things my way. Always asking me why I defy the Council. I shall do what I must. He's been getting bolder lately in his questioning of my decisions. Strange enough, I don't mind that he makes his feelings known about it. Perhaps one day he will convince me that my decision is not the right one. I know I'm not infallible, even though I do act as if I am occasionally. Obi-Wan does tend to remind me of that from time to time. I just do things the way I see fit. I can't explain it. And I have tried.   
  
~*~   
  
ETA is four hours. When we are within an hour of the planet, I will wake my apprentice so that we can prepare for what lay ahead. Another simple mission? Nothing is ever simple anymore. I thought training an apprentice would get easier. Not so. Although I am enjoying teaching Obi-Wan and watching him learn, he is perhaps my most difficult student. Even Xanatos was an easier Learner, until the dark side called to him. I think perhaps Obi-Wan is too much like myself. Stubborn and headstrong. A challenge for me as my teaching years wind down. Yes, this is Yoda's doing. There could be no one else behind it.   
  
Yet, as difficult as it is, I will cherish my time with Obi-Wan more than any other. Already I can see that he is becoming more a friend to me than anything. He is young, but I feel we can talk about most anything. I can confide in him, and rely on him for my very life. Only seventeen, but so much a part of me.   
  
~*~   
  
We are approaching the planet. I've stationed myself at the pilot's controls. As much as I hate to do this, I must wake my apprentice. We have to be prepared for anything on this next mission. I send a wake up call over our bond, and he responds immediately. His steps are slow, but within sixty seconds he is taking his place in the co-pilots seat.   
  
"Okay, I'm awake."   
  
"Good, now tell me what you know about the planet of Relefar."   
  
He thinks for a moment, then brings out what knowledge he has of the jungle-like world. It's not much, but I am impressed with the small bit of information he has recalled about the people of Relefar, and their odd customs.   
  
"Very good Padawan. Would you care to pilot us in?"   
  
"Yes, Master."   
  
This has been an interesting flight. I've thought a great deal about my relationship with Obi-Wan. And I have thought about what he has become in the past five years. I wonder what our future holds. But I can only wonder for so long. As I always tell my apprentice, keep your concentration on the here and now. That is where it belongs. But again, my mind creeps forward, and I try to see us five years from now. Ten years from now. Will I be there for Obi-Wan's Knighting ceremony? Will I be there to see him accept his first apprentice? Will I be there the next time he needs a friend to lean on? I try to shake a sudden feeling of darkness that threatens to surround me. It blocks out the friendly images and replaces them with anguish and despair. The flash of a red blade. A figure draped in black. The clatter of my saber hilt as he hits a metal floor.   
  
Then, just like that, it's gone. Obi-Wan is watching me, concern in his eyes.   
  
"Master, are you okay?"   
  
"Yes, Padawan. Memories is all." I try to sound convincing, but he's not falling for it.   
  
"Master?"   
  
"It's okay Obi-Wan. Something I should probably meditate on however. Have you gotten clearance to land?"   
  
"Yes, Master." He's worried now. His face always gets that confused look when he's worried. I can't talk about what I just experienced. I don't know what it is or what it means. But, I need to settle myself and my student. We have a mission ahead of us. One that requires our full attention.   
  
"Bring us in padawan."   
  
Our landing is smooth and without fault. Obi-Wan is a fine pilot. As we go to exit the ship, he lays a hand on my arm.   
  
"It was a vision, wasn't it?" It doesn't take him long to read me.   
  
"I'm not sure. It was...something. It's all right. Let it go for now."   
  
He nods as he heads down the ramp of the ship. He has a confident air about him. Too confident?   
  
Okay, enough. I need to focus. Deep breath. Follow Obi-Wan's lead. In a few strides, I am at his side, and before long, conversation turns to the mission at hand. My student's mind is centered and relaxed. I connect with him through our link, and reach for that same feeling. Obi-Wan reaches back and his comforting presence implants itself in my consciousness.   
  
I am focused. Our mission awaits. My padawan is at my side. My saber hangs on my belt. We are prepared for the future, but must concentrate on the now.   
  
END


End file.
